Friday Fictioneers, Short Story

Lost in Time (Short Story)

34 Comments

 Friday Fictioneers: “Every Friday authors from around the world gather here to share their 100-words and offer constructive crit and encouragement to each other. “

Host: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

PHOTO PROMPT – © Copyright – Rachel Bjerke
PHOTO PROMPT – © Copyright – Rachel Bjerke

She was once magnificent… but time condemns us all to being forgotten. Roots and moss are now taking over, still growing, not caring if they kill the last of her. “Damn you!” I yell.

I walk around in my armour, skeptical that this is really all that’s left. Trees now stand where miles of stone walls once were, and I feel lost. How is this possible? What curse could be responsible of such massive destruction?

A gigantic birdlike creature suddenly rushes on the sky above me, and the noise makes me swing my sword. All I can think is: “Since when are dragons white?”

34 thoughts on “Lost in Time (Short Story)”

  5. Dear Dennisse,

    Ominous story. One thing that took me out…I would lose reprehensibly. As Mark Twain is quoted as saying, “If you see an adverb, kill it.”

    I love the eyeball picture.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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      1. It’s only my opinion, Dennisse. But I find adverbs in a piece sometimes distracting, particularly after ‘he or she said.’ Action verbs are more effective, As always, your story, your call.

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      2. No, I mean, yes. lol But I really appreciate your opinion, I’m just starting to write and I want to get better with every piece, so thanks a lot! Besides, another person also pointed that out, so I’ll take it out. You guys know your English much better.
        Thanks again!
        And p.s.: I also loved that picture, glad you liked it too!

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      3. It’s a process. I’ve learned more in the past nine years of writing than I ever learned in school. Workshops and writers groups are good places to start. For the record, I won’t allow anyone to read the first draft of my novel…I had so much to learn. The best advice I can give you is to be open. That doesn’t mean you should take everything as law.

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      4. True, I feel like if you just take everything everyone says, you’ll end up changing the whole thing completely and it won’t be your piece anymore… And then, there always be something someone doesn’t like. If you are going to go against someone’s wishes/opinion/likes, might as well do it because of something you created and love.
        I feel the same way with my novel, it’s my first and I’m just starting it, but I jist feel like I have so many ideas and they are sometimes so different and far away from each other that I’m having a hard time bringing them together.
        I think I am going to look for some kind of workshop, thanks for the advice!

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      7. I found “On Writing” by Stephen King helpful when I started writing. Half of the book is a biography and the rest is about writing. He is not a fan of adverbs and has some great editing tips too.

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  7. Great story! I hope he fares okay against the dragon. It’s strange the thoughts that go through your mind when faced with such danger – he’ll probably still be pondering the dragon’s colour during the battle!

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  10. Hope I’m not inside a dragon when he attacks it.
    Reminded me of A Viking in my Bed (by Jeremy Strong) – one of my family’s favourite books. (A Viking in modern kitchen is quite something.)

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